It has been quite the week - non stop really.
Last Sunday, birthday party, working 6 days all week, meeting up with old friends, family showers, Not to mention watching a 7 year old, and trying to keep up a good mood... and sadness - my friend's father dying so far before his time. Friend losing their dog - poor guy :(
This has been quite the year - I wish I could understand people...
what makes them think that when they cheat on their husbands/wives that they will not live to regret it? What possesses a man to rape his 11 year old daughter? What can people find amusing or entertaining about beating a puppy? Why are people so stupid that they can't see what they have until it's gone.
When you hurt someone - it will come back to you.
when you can't accept who you are, and always look to be someone that you "think" you need to be... you lose yourself.
When you hurt someone who loves you - it isn't forgotten. It's up to the person you hurt to decide whether they want to be forgiving - and if they are? ACCEPT it. Don't be a dick. Life is to frigging short to be an asshole.
So bearing this in mind, a song comes to mind...
Baby, I see this world has made you sad
Some people can be bad
The things they do, the things they say
But baby, I'll wipe away those bitter tears
I'll chase away those restless fears
that turn your blue skies into grey
Why Worry
there should be laughter after pain
there should be sunshine after rain
these things have always been the same
so why worry now?
Why worry now?
Baby, when I get down I turn to you
and you make sense of what I do
I know it isn't hard to say
But baby, just when this world seems mean and cold
our love comes shining red and gold
and all the rest is by the way
So why worry
there should be laughter after pain
there should be sunshine after rain
these things have always been the same
so why worry now?
why worry now?
The missing doesn't stop. Losing someone whether by death or just plain old stupidity is the same feeling. Complete emptiness and utter sadness. you can fill it with alcohol, food, sex or drugs... but it doesn't work. Wish I could help.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Let it rain
We walked the narrow path,
beneath the smoking skies.
Sometimes you can barely tell the difference
between darkness and light.
Do you have faith
in what we believe?
The truest test is when we cannot,
when we cannot see.
I hear pounding feet in the,
in the streets below, and the,
and the women crying and the,
and the children know that there,
that there's something wrong,
and it's hard to believe that love will prevail.
Oh it won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall forever.
Oh, when I'm lonely,
I lie awake at night
and I wish you were here.
I miss you.
Can you tell me
is there something more to believe in?
Or is this all there is?
In the pounding feet, in the,
In the streets below, and the,
And the window breaks and,
And a woman falls, there's,
There's something wrong, it's,
It's so hard to believe that love will prevail.
Oh it won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall
forever.
Last night I had a dream.
You came into my room,
you took me into your arms.
Whispering and kissing me,
and telling me to still believe.
But then the emptiness of a burning sea against which we see
our darkest of sadness.
Until I felt safe and warm.
I fell asleep in your arms.
When I awoke I cried again for you were gone.
Oh, can you hear me?
It won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall forever.
It won't rain all the time
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall,
your tears won't fall
forever.
This has to possibly be one of my favorite movies - and I love this song.
Today it's about to pour... yesterday I was surprised by the girls at work with a late birthday celebration - sneaky bitches (this i say and mean with love)
This begins the week from hell 6 day workweek with an added sides of my brothers birthday on Friday, lunch with an old H.S. friend on Saturday and a bridal shower on Sunday. This July is pretty much killing me.
Going to be singing in October at a wedding - another step for me - singing in public scares me, and I love to sing - it's more the people looking at me while I sing thing :D It's fine, it's something I have to push myself to do.
today it's:
which is much cooler than it has been, thank you so very much! I do love the rain though... lying curled up in bed with someone you love, listening to the rain patter on the roof - that is contentment. (remind me to find that again sometime)
beneath the smoking skies.
Sometimes you can barely tell the difference
between darkness and light.
Do you have faith
in what we believe?
The truest test is when we cannot,
when we cannot see.
I hear pounding feet in the,
in the streets below, and the,
and the women crying and the,
and the children know that there,
that there's something wrong,
and it's hard to believe that love will prevail.
Oh it won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall forever.
Oh, when I'm lonely,
I lie awake at night
and I wish you were here.
I miss you.
Can you tell me
is there something more to believe in?
Or is this all there is?
In the pounding feet, in the,
In the streets below, and the,
And the window breaks and,
And a woman falls, there's,
There's something wrong, it's,
It's so hard to believe that love will prevail.
Oh it won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall
forever.
Last night I had a dream.
You came into my room,
you took me into your arms.
Whispering and kissing me,
and telling me to still believe.
But then the emptiness of a burning sea against which we see
our darkest of sadness.
Until I felt safe and warm.
I fell asleep in your arms.
When I awoke I cried again for you were gone.
Oh, can you hear me?
It won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall forever.
It won't rain all the time
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall,
your tears won't fall
forever.
This has to possibly be one of my favorite movies - and I love this song.
Today it's about to pour... yesterday I was surprised by the girls at work with a late birthday celebration - sneaky bitches (this i say and mean with love)
This begins the week from hell 6 day workweek with an added sides of my brothers birthday on Friday, lunch with an old H.S. friend on Saturday and a bridal shower on Sunday. This July is pretty much killing me.
Going to be singing in October at a wedding - another step for me - singing in public scares me, and I love to sing - it's more the people looking at me while I sing thing :D It's fine, it's something I have to push myself to do.
today it's:
 Overcast | Feels Like: 79° | |||
| Wind Chill: | 77° | Ceiling: | 20000 | |
| Heat Index: | 79° | Visibility: | 9mi | |
| Dew Point: | 66° | Wind: | 5mph | |
| Humidity: | 69% | Direction: | 180° (S) | |
| Pressure: | 29.93" | Gusts: | NA | |
which is much cooler than it has been, thank you so very much! I do love the rain though... lying curled up in bed with someone you love, listening to the rain patter on the roof - that is contentment. (remind me to find that again sometime)
Saturday, July 16, 2011
change is inevitable
 Broken Clouds | Feels Like: 71° | |||
| Wind Chill: | 71° | Ceiling: | 25000 | |
| Heat Index: | 71° | Visibility: | 10mi | |
| Dew Point: | 61° | Wind: | 0mph | |
| Humidity: | 70% | Direction: | NA NA | |
| Pressure: | 30.16" | Gusts: | NA | |
Tonight I go with other Managers to see our D.M. play with Up All Night. This is a wee bit odd for all of us, since (as when we were young) our bosses (teachers) didn't have a life outside of work. It's all good, it'll be great. They seem like they're pretty decent, so should be a good night, and then again, I don't work tomorrow. Oh goodie. :)
Went to see Enter the Haggis on Thursday! Man, do I enjoy some good Irish music! They're coming back in September for the Irish Fest in Saratoga, along with some other fantastic bands... looking forward to that. :) O.K. Off to get ready for work, woo hoo!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Time keeps on ticking...
Well, with Pink Floyd in my head... how else could I start this? :)
5 days past my 40th birthday - and the celebrating is still going on - have I mentioned before that I am not especially a fan of surprises? Yeah. Not. A. Fan.
Some surprises are wonderful, a friend getting married, a new baby on the way, flowers for no reason... those are the things in life that are perfect surprises. It comes as no surprise to me that I need to finish something that I began years ago. I think maybe I'll sleep better, or perhaps be able to let go if I finish it. I don't know. I can't talk about it with any of my friends, because they have a VERY clear thought process on what I should do about him. Ignore, possibly torment and torture. It used to be my way - I was the queen of revenge, served ice cold, thank you very much. However... what does that get me, in the long run? A soul that hurts, a mind that is filled with horrible thoughts and a heart that breaks and builds more walls around the walls that are already there. I don't really know what to do to fix it, I don't know what to say, but I have to figure it out. Maybe it will provide closure, or maybe it will bring something back to my life that I have missed; Hope, Love and Friendship. we'll see.
Black irises - they are just so pretty, took this after a horrendous storm out in the finger lakes
Ticking away the moments
that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours
You fritter and waste the hours
in an off-hand way
Kicking around on a piece
Kicking around on a piece
of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something
Waiting for someone or something
to show you the way
Tired of lying in the sunshine
Tired of lying in the sunshine
staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long
You are young and life is long
and there is time to kill today
And then the one day you find
And then the one day you find
ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run,
No one told you when to run,
you missed the starting gun
And you run and you run
And you run and you run
to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way,
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way,
but you're older
And shorter of breath
And shorter of breath
and one day closer to death
Every year is getting shorter,
Every year is getting shorter,
never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught
Plans that either come to naught
or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation
Hanging on in quiet desperation
is the English way
The time is gone the song is over,
The time is gone the song is over,
thought I'd something more to say
5 days past my 40th birthday - and the celebrating is still going on - have I mentioned before that I am not especially a fan of surprises? Yeah. Not. A. Fan.
Some surprises are wonderful, a friend getting married, a new baby on the way, flowers for no reason... those are the things in life that are perfect surprises. It comes as no surprise to me that I need to finish something that I began years ago. I think maybe I'll sleep better, or perhaps be able to let go if I finish it. I don't know. I can't talk about it with any of my friends, because they have a VERY clear thought process on what I should do about him. Ignore, possibly torment and torture. It used to be my way - I was the queen of revenge, served ice cold, thank you very much. However... what does that get me, in the long run? A soul that hurts, a mind that is filled with horrible thoughts and a heart that breaks and builds more walls around the walls that are already there. I don't really know what to do to fix it, I don't know what to say, but I have to figure it out. Maybe it will provide closure, or maybe it will bring something back to my life that I have missed; Hope, Love and Friendship. we'll see.
Black irises - they are just so pretty, took this after a horrendous storm out in the finger lakes
This is by Ballston Lake - the area has slowly evolved into a swampy mess in certain areas, but the lake is beautiful on the other side, and the water is starting to flow through the mangled trees, thought this was an interesting bending and cracking.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Oh, say can you see?
This weekend is the annual fourth of July bash at my friend's house - SO am looking forward to this... great friends, swimming, good food - and fantastic fireworks. I have to say they rival the local displays and definitely kick most off the map.
The whole point of this...
to enjoy your time.
well, MY time.
I haven't been looking after myself as well as I should, mentally, anyway - working too much, stressing over things I can't change, Missing an ex who I shouldn't ever want to see again, driving myself into a flurry of stress related activities is NOT the best plan. I need this time to relax, and I am taking it.
I can't do much about him, nor can I stop the working. (bills, ya know - they get testy when they don't get paid) but I can learn, on this my 40th year of existence, to chill out and take it as it comes.
I did decide to take my artistic endeavors back, entering photo's into competitions, even if I place, it is a giant step for me. It's something that I love to do, and I like what I see in the camera. So, in the spirit of Independence Day...
Celebrate your life and all who are in it... whether they are a past, a future or a now... you only keep the people in your life with whom you actually want to interact, even if it's only casually. Enjoy them, they bring much love and pleasure to you.
The whole point of this...
to enjoy your time.
well, MY time.
I haven't been looking after myself as well as I should, mentally, anyway - working too much, stressing over things I can't change, Missing an ex who I shouldn't ever want to see again, driving myself into a flurry of stress related activities is NOT the best plan. I need this time to relax, and I am taking it.
I can't do much about him, nor can I stop the working. (bills, ya know - they get testy when they don't get paid) but I can learn, on this my 40th year of existence, to chill out and take it as it comes.
I did decide to take my artistic endeavors back, entering photo's into competitions, even if I place, it is a giant step for me. It's something that I love to do, and I like what I see in the camera. So, in the spirit of Independence Day...
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