Rolling in the Deep

I love this song... her voice speaks to me, gives me goosebumps.  I feel I've reached the end of the  decision making, and the betrayal.  So, live, laugh and love - give up what is lost, and move onto different places and people.  Others lost and lose far more.  Self respect, morals and dignity.  I got the better end of the deal...

So, rolling in the deep -

There's a fire starting in my heart

Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark

Finally I can see you crystal clear

Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare

See how I'll leave, with every piece of you

Don't underestimate the things that I will do

There's a fire starting in my heart

Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark

The scars of your love remind me of us

They keep me thinking that we almost had it all

The scars of your love, they leave me breathless

I can't help feeling

We could have had it all

Rolling in the deep

You had my heart inside your hand

And you played it to the beat

Baby, I have no story to be told

But I've heard one of you and I'm gonna make your head burn

Think of me in the depths of your despair

Making a home down there as mine sure won't be shared

The scars of your love remind you of us

They keep me thinking that we almost had it all

The scars of your love, they leave me breathless

I can't help feeling

We could have had it all

Rolling in the deep

You had my heart inside your hand

And you played it to the beat

Could have had it all

Rolling in the deep

You had my heart inside your hand

But you played it with a beating

Throw your soul through every open door

Count your blessings to find what you look for

Turn my sorrow into treasured gold

You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow

(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)

We could have had it all

(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could have had it all

(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)

It all, it all, it all, it all

(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)

We could have had it all

(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Rolling in the deep

(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)

You had my heart and soul

(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

And you played it to the beat

(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)

Could have had it all

(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Rolling in the deep

(Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me)

You had my heart and soul in your hand

(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

But you played it, you played it, you played it to the beat

oh yes.

Few Clouds			71°F Feels Like: 71°
Wind Chill:	71°		Ceiling:	Unl
Heat Index:	71°		Visibility:	10mi
Dew Point:	58°		Wind:	5mph
Humidity:	63%		Direction:	20° (NNE)
Pressure:	29.75"		Gusts:	NA

Fresh from my visit to the lovely emerald city (stolen from James)  - I had a perfectly lovely time - beautiful drive out there, and meeting up with Kim and Nadine for a few Margaritas at Zebbs... the perfect beginning... then followed by a night of cranberry margaritas (ohhh so yummy) with Kate, Lisa and Mary looking at purses and such? Lovely. 

The fact that these women are my ex's family and friends still stun me - although it makes me so glad that I have them in my life... they bring a very rounded aspect to my existence, and they have taught me that patience can occasionally carry the day - not to mention a few hours of hysterical laughter...

Then a night in a hotel, followed by a great breakfast with a relatively new friend, Mitzie - It's funny how much we have in common, this lady and I.

I also got to hear about how I had been lied to for the first few months of my relationship with James.  Now, tell me - when someone says "I didn't sleep with anyone else while I was with you" you would tend to take that as face value, correct?  Guess I should have asked, "and how long was that in your mind?" Finding out that he lied? Yes, well... somehow doesn't surprise me.  Hurts me, yes.  Breaks another piece of my heart, yes.  Surprises me... no. 

So it comes down to this part... I miss this person, although I don't know about having a relationship with him ever again with a modicum of trust.  So friends, I can handle.  I don't know if he can.  I've tried to reach him, to figure out if I really do miss him, or if it is a reaction to everything else in my life.  I'll keep trying, and at some point, I'll get to ask him about all this - maybe.  I have a few things to tell him anyway, not that they will matter, but they weigh on my soul. 


Ah.  My heart hurts.

How about a little Green Day:

Another turning point;
A fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
Directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test and don't ask why.
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs
And still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,
It was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So make the best of this task and don't ask why.
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.